To blog, or not to blog?

That is the question.......that I've been asking myself lately, anyway. Only my fourth posting and already I'm thinking, "Why did I start this?" At first my biggest fear was people actually reading it! What would they think? Would I come across as stupid? Would it come back to haunt me? I managed to quickly throw those thoughts out the window, thankfully, and instead focused on the positive. I could express my creativity! I could share with others, feel connected, and perhaps even inspire! My fear turned to excitement, and I took the plunge!

Now I'm thinking I'm not the best swimmer!

I read my previous blogs and the first word that comes to mind is, "Ew!" (I wonder if "ew" is even a word....I should look that up.) I feel I've lost my creativity! I used to be poetic, visual, very articulate and, well, creative! To me my blogs are the equivalent of a lost and found box.....full of unwanted, useless, mis-matched items strewn in complete disarray and easily forgotten! Sure, I know I'm my own worst critic, but it's helped me realize just how out of touch I am with my artistic side! Part of me is discouraged by that, and the other part, inspired. But then I also realized that few really care to read my blog. I know of two people. But hey, that in itself doesn't really bother me! What does, however, is the knowledge that if I'm not writing well and no one is reading, then I'm not doing any good for anyone.....not encouraging or stimulating thought or laughter. My whole being revolves around reaching out to others, not myself! What good is writing a blog just for me? I talk to myself all the time.....I really don't think I need to write it down!

So here I am, splashing and flailing about, not quite sinking and not quite swimming!

Perhaps I just think too much....like, I still have "concerns" that my blog would be a laughing stock if people were actually reading it. I mean, seriously.....crazy dog lady here! Or maybe I'm too open with my thoughts, or try too hard to sound profound, or think I'm funny when really I'm far from humorous, or maybe......

I think too much!

So what exactly is a blog? I've read a few. Far as I can tell, they are "the person in words." If the person writing is optimistic, the blog is inspirational. If they're struggling, it's thought provoking. They're learning, it's informative. It shares feelings, events and those things most near and dear to the writer's heart. I suppose then that since I am somewhat erratic so too should be my blog! Maybe that's okay. I enjoy reading other people's blogs because it's like opening a window into their soul, not because it's well written or has a point to it.

Maybe it's okay to write for myself and just be true to who I am, and others can join me on my ark if they wish.....there is lots of room, after all! But I'm alright on a solo journey, too. Maybe it's a good way for me to get to know myself better! (and sounds like I need to learn to like myself more.) Somehow this blog brings out the strangest fears in me, but it just might be able to help me conquer them at the same time.

To blog, or not to blog......to sink or swim.....perhaps I'll just float a while!
For now, that's my answer.  :-)