Who's up for a walk?

This weekend is my 39th birthday. Creeping up on 40 generally freaks most people out, and maybe subconsciously I am a bit concerned as well, but I almost feel excited about reaching such a prestigious milestone. I view it more as a crowning achievement; a trophy that states, "Congratulations! You've made it this far! And you look awesome, by the way!" Age is just a number anyway, right? So be this as it may, I made a startling revelation today. I thought I was too young, but yet a quick Google search claimed otherwise, and Google knows EVERYthing! Even Snopes couldn't refute it, so it MUST be true! But how could it be? It seems too soon, too... I don't know, just scary. However, it must be true. The internet would never lie! You're hearing it here first, folks. I have discovered that I am indeed going through the all too notorious, (pause for effect) MID LIFE CRISIS. *Gasp!* 

Noooooooooo!!! As much as I hate to admit it, it would explain a lot of what I've been going through lately. Has this happened to you? Common symptoms that really resonated with me were;

• Unexplained bouts of depression when doing tasks that used to make you happy (yup, can't seem to look forward to much)

• Change of habits: activities which used to bring pleasure now are boring. Unable to complete or concentrate on tasks which used to be easy (why does everything seem so complicated?)

• Wanting to run away from everything (ahhh, sweet avoidance)

• A desire to get into physical shape (never even had to think about that before!)

• Change in allergies (seems I'm allergic to EVERYthing now)

• Sudden desire to learn something new (Spanish! Oh wait, that requires effort. Meh.)

• Sudden interest in drawing, painting, writing books or poetry (blogging?!?)

• Restarting things which you dropped years earlier (enter the sudden desire to draw, paint and write)

• Extreme changes to what you eat (does simply eating more count? I'm all over that!)

• Hair changes; natural change in texture or thickness, or assisted such as dying (ummm, bleach blonde and purple might qualify...)

• Upset at where society is going. Experience a desire to change the world for the better (well, ALways but yeah, this has gotten intense! Sorry for the resulting online political arguments...)

• Desiring a simple life (I can't imagine it getting any simpler! And yet...)

• Keep asking yourself, "Where am I going with my life?" (Every. Blessed. Minute.)

Yikes, that was a longer list than I realized, and not even all of it. I'd be lying if I said this didn't slightly scare the bejabbers out of me. I finally felt like I was getting to a point in life where I had it all together and now I'm feeling like I'm losing it all! Suddenly I'm supposed to make a bunch of changes and rediscover myself? I mean sure, sounds perfectly logical and reasonable. One slight glitch in this theory though; I'm terribly hesitant in decision and resistant to change at the best of times, never mind when it feel obligatory. Just like approaching the 40 year milestone with eager pride in my accomplishments, why can't I just  approach this opportunity with the same optimism? I want to be excited about it, really! 

Ah, the joys of self discovery. I guess my thing is this; I had little time to ever really self define as an adult. I was too busy caring for others to bother with myself. The last, I don't know, maybe ten years have been the biggest opportunity for me to explore who I really am. It seems far too soon, and definitely overwhelming to think of starting again! I also tend to seclude myself when dealing with things, so as part of my apparent necessary life change, I am reaching out! I would love to hear if and how all of you have coped with this stage in life. Please comment, message, or let's even go out for a coffee or something! I don't want to run away from something that could be such an amazing opportunity, and I don't want to have to do it alone! 

Really, I think it all comes down to this. It doesn't have to be a crisis. Life is what we choose to make of it, and I want to make this a beautiful opportunity! I hate to admit that I can't magically pull my own happiness out of a hat with no help from anyone, but it's time to suck it up! I'm going to fail, yup. I'm going to trip and fall on my face over and over and over again on this new walk of life. But the bottom line remains; this is a milestone worth celebrating. Fear is a waste of time and sitting at home stewing about it isn't going to produce results. None of us are getting any younger, so who's up for a walk together?